When to Stay, or Leave a Job as an Engineering Manager

Why I walked away from £200K and why you should think twice before saying Yes.

I was unhappy at work. Not because of my team. Not because of my salary. Those were great. But the work? It wasn’t what I wanted to do.

I had spoken to my manager about it, and while we were working on a change, it was slow. After some time I lost trust. So I did what many people do in that situation: I started interviewing.

One company approached me and after weeks of interviews, seven rounds, to be exact, I got an offer. And not just any offer: a £200K comp package. Almost double what I was making at the time.

You probably know the company. The team was building exciting tech and the role had interesting challenges.

On the surface, it seemed like everything I was looking for.

But there was a catch: the company’s core business was gambling.

I took my time. I thought about it. The pay was fantastic. The day-to-day work seemed engaging. But when I thought about the bigger picture, I knew I couldn't take the job.

So I did something that, on paper, made no sense: I rejected the offer.

And I’m glad I did.

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The Career Triangle

As an engineer, and later as a manager, I realized that career decisions always come down to three things:

1. Pay – Are you paid fairly? Does your salary match your skills and the market?

2. People – Do you respect and enjoy working with your team, manager, and peers?

3. Work – Do you enjoy what you’re doing day-to-day? Does the company’s mission align with your values?

I have found this triangle to be similar to the CAP theorem. From my experience typically two of these will be good, and one will be lacking.

• If the work is great and the people are amazing, the pay is probably below market.

• If the pay is fantastic and the work is interesting, the environment is probably toxic.

• If the people are great and the pay is strong, the work might not excite you or align with your values.

And that brings us back to my £200K offer.

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Why I Said No to £200K

At my company at the time:

✅ Pay: My salary was competitive. No issues there.
✅ People: I worked with a great team. Smart, supportive, and people I genuinely liked.
❌ Work: The day-to-day work wasn’t exciting. It wasn’t terrible, but it didn’t challenge or inspire me.

In the offer I got:

✅ Pay: The offer was fantastic. No complaints here.
✅ People: The team seemed friendly and experienced.
❌ Work: The company promoted gambling, something I wasn’t comfortable with.

On the surface, both jobs had the same problem: I wasn’t excited about the work. But there was a big difference.

At my current job, the work wasn’t thrilling, but it was workable. It was a problem I could solve, either by finding ways to make it more interesting or by pushing for a different role within the company.

But the new offer? The work itself might have been engaging, but the company’s mission was the problem. No amount of technical challenge or interesting projects could change the fact that I would be using my skills to help a business I didn’t believe in.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to fully support the mission. And when you’re a leader, that matters. Your team looks to you for guidance, for motivation, for purpose. If you don’t believe in what you’re building, how can you expect them to?

So I walked away. And I’ve never regretted it.

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What Happened Next

After I turned down the offer, I had a moment of doubt. Had I just made a huge mistake? Would I regret saying no to that kind of money?

But almost immediately, I felt a sense of relief. I didn’t have to justify working for a company whose mission I didn’t believe in. I didn’t have to convince myself that it was “just a job”. And I knew I had made the choice that was right for me.

That moment also made me rethink what I really wanted in my career. If I was willing to walk away from a massive salary because the work didn’t feel right, then what kind of job would feel right?

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What I Learned

Looking back, I took away three key lessons:

1. Your Values Matter More Than You Think

When you take a job, you’re not just agreeing to do the work. You’re signing up to help a company succeed. If you can’t stand behind what they do, that disconnect will eat at you. It might not be obvious on day one, but over time, it will wear you down.

2. There’s More Than One Way to Fix a Problem

I had been frustrated with my job because I stopped loving the work I was doing with my team at the time. My first instinct was to leave. But after turning down the offer, I focused on what I could do inside my company. I had tough conversations with my manager, pushed for different projects, and eventually found work that was much more engaging. Sometimes the best way forward isn’t quitting, it’s changing what you already have.

3. The Right Job is About More Than Money

Would more money have been nice? Of course. But I would have paid for it in another way: with stress, with a lack of motivation, with regret. If a job makes you miserable, no salary will fix that.

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How You Can Apply This to Your Career

If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, stuck in a job that doesn’t excite you or facing a tempting offer that doesn’t sit right, ask yourself these questions:

• Do I believe in what this company is doing?

• Will I be proud of the work I do here?

• If this job paid less, would I still want it?

• Can I improve my current situation instead of leaving?

If the answer to those first three questions is no, it might not be the right job. And if the last one is yes, it’s worth exploring before making a move.

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The Bottom Line

Turning down £200K might seem crazy to some (like it did to me at the time), but it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It forced me to be honest about what really mattered in my career. It helped me find better work at my current company. And most importantly, it let me stay true to my values.

A high salary, great people, or exciting projects can all make a job appealing. But long-term happiness comes from something deeper: knowing that the work you do aligns with the person you want to be.

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